somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
