When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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