she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
