Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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