I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
