And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
