We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
