My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
