I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
