I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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