just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
