Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize