My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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