just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
