He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
