yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
