just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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