I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My feet surprised me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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