the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
