If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
