My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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