i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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