I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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