Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
