I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I had to cum in my sink.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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