Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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