he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
