i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
