Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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