69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
A bitchslap is in order.
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