dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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