So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
