he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
