We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
