White coat. Heels.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
