there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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