Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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