Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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