Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
