Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
