if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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