Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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