found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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