I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
