My balls are so social today.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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