Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
