But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
