This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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