For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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