On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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