So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
