WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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