i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
