Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
