So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
