Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize