Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
