I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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