Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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