After last night, I could never be a politician.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
