She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
