He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
